Haha! Oh dear. The Guardian’s travel editor has sent his widdle boy Max (how these names date! Every meeja boy-child caesareaned-out in the last five years is called Jasper innit?) on a trip round
Will I Still Get Deals?
Showbiz Made Desperate
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Don't Come Back!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Another Waste of Everyones Time
Move over Oscar night, we’ve just been to the party of the year! Of course we haven’t at all. It was the usual dismal free lager ,wine and mini burgers affair. This time it was all in aid of keeping Mr T off Income Support. He’s been signed up to promote Snickers. We’re guessing he’s got more competitive rates than Hulk Hogan or The Rock – not having troubled our TV screens since 1988.
They didn’t even bother to fly him over. Instead they made him do a stupid rap about Snickers via a satellite link from LA. Then some PR flunkies – described to him as ‘the British public’ – asked him some stupid questions. After T reminded us George Peppard died in 1994 some dizzy bint asked “when is there going to be an A-Team reunion?”
The “brains” behind this operation didn’t stop at getting Mr T’s face on the Snickers wrappers though, oh no, they’ve set up a Facebook page where “lads” can post pictures when they “catch a mate eye-deep in a copy of Grazia.” Coz young people like Facebook don’t they? Maybe if Snickers is on Facebook they’ll like Snickers too? Genius!
Fucking hell. Bleed them dry Mr T!
Monday, February 11, 2008
KATE HUMBLE – Confidence Trickster!
Imagine my surprise when I got this anonymous tip-off about the social life of permy-headed badger-botherer Kate Humble. Some PR loon thought spamming me a load of nonsense about an F-lister’s boozing habits might qualify for our “spotted” section. Guess what? There is no “spotted” section at my place of employment! Yes this is the cold, calculated and murky world I work in readers. Alas! This publicity hungry genius reckoned without the obvious facts that no one gives a flying toss about Kate Humble let alone “draught wine”. Poor old Kate, does she know the deceit that’s perpetrated in her name? The full horror lies below…
Thought it might be of interest..."
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
This is Getting Ridiculous…
Boo hoo hoo!!! The bloke out of A Knight’s Tale is dead!!! Let’s all burst into tears!
The saga continues and no celebrity story is complete without Lindsay Lohan sticking her oar in. How did she take the news? By sobbing her head off. It transpires that Heath stuck his willy in her in New York during Thanksgiving. Apparently he’s also been at it with Kate Hudson, Heather Graham and Helena Christensen – so his funeral will keep women’s magazine style pages packed until Easter.
Now, I’m no monster. Is shouting “Heath’s dead! Heaths’ dead!” anyway to break the news to an impressionable young pill popping piss head? No. It’s very rude! What appals me is that this story is going to drag on for months. Meanwhile anyone with a keyboard is tapping on about how ‘sad’ it all is. Accidents happen! Stay away from the pills and don’t kill yourself!
Source
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Fucking hell!! Heath Ledger is dead!!!
It can only be hours until a heart broken Cleo Rocos pays tribute to Heath - esteemed thesp of Brokeback Mountain, A Knight's Tale, the new Batman film and...er, other things no one remembers.
Crikey. It's like Anna Nicole Smith. We all know where we were when she died I'm sure. Heath Ledger though. Tsk. Hollywood isn't for everyone. And he seemed like such a nice young man until he lost his hair and dumped his wife and baby.
That's Batman fucked then.
It's probably a drugs over dose.
Source
UPDATE: Actually what the fuck am I on about? "Seemed like a nice boy"? How the fuck am I to know?! I've been hoodwinked by all this celebrity shite! Take a look around the celebrity blogs, they're full of it! "He was only 28", "it's a tragedy" yak yak yak. The only reason this is news is because he pretended to shag Donnie Darko up his arse in a tent. Big deal! That shit happens for real every day! So blah blah.
Monday, January 21, 2008
It’s War!!
The Daily Mail claimed today that Suzanne, Linda Lusardi and Aggy from How Clean Is Your House are locked in a deadly feud! In a hugely unbelievable and typically Mail-ish tale of women not getting along it’s claimed Suzanne’s accused Linda of only being on the show to provide ‘eye candy’ while Aggy’s telling Suzanne not to take the show too seriously as her comeback dreams are doomed. Hmm. Linda’s a bit on the old side for ‘eye candy’ isn’t she? We’d like to believe Aggy’s been slagging Suzanne though. She needs to give it up and get back to Kwik Save till or whatever she was doing before Popstars. Getting knocked up by Darren Day is one thing, Dancing on Ice is quite another…
The Glamorous Face of WD-40!
Poor old Anna Ryder Richardson – the days of her turning respectable suburban bedrooms into tarts boudoirs are long since behind her. Oh yes, she claws her way onto I’m A Celebrity, eats a few bugs, puts herself through some unremarkable humiliations and this – this! – is all she gets out of it? WD bloody 40?!